I really need this. If I want an internal change, there needs to be a tangible, visual change as well. And my health sucks. I sustain an incredibly unstable lifestyle. I sleep, eat, and wander at random hours. My whole body aches and I feel very unhealthy.
"I took the little radio from the kitchen and I went and sat in the spare room and I turned it halfway between two stations so that all I could hear was white noise and I turned the volume up really loud and I held it against my ear and the sound filled my head and it hurt so that I couldn't feel any other sort of hurt, like the hurt in my chest"
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