짜증나면씨발이라고욕해야하고
행복하면와아아아아질러야하고
실패하면혼자실컷질질짜야되.
다끝났는데
난승리했는데
파티할분위기가아니여서조용히닥치고눈치
보며찌그러져있으면
나처럼되.
그럼나는그때혼자만의파티를만찬을즐기고
남들은그런나를진심으로축하해주어야했나
내잘못이라고할수있나
걔네잘못이라고할수있나
아무일도없었어
없었기때문에문제야
그렇다면있게하지않았다고비판할만한근거가되냐
내가뭔말하는지는아냐
"I took the little radio from the kitchen and I went and sat in the spare room and I turned it halfway between two stations so that all I could hear was white noise and I turned the volume up really loud and I held it against my ear and the sound filled my head and it hurt so that I couldn't feel any other sort of hurt, like the hurt in my chest"
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