난후회가싫다
그래서안한다.
그러면둘중하나를택해야한다 : 사실이아닌줄알지만 눈딱감고 최선을다했다고 자신을속이기
아님 진짜로 최선을다하기.
난후자를하려고 매우노력한다
당당하게나자신을대하고싶다
아오미친진짜후회하지말자ㅇ?
2
어제킥복싱끝나고 다같이 거울앞에서있는데 아찔했다
파란색옷입은사람이 땀에흠뻑젖어 물에담궜다가짜지않고그냥꺼낸걸레마냥 땀이뚝뚝흐르고있었다
회색옷입은나는앞에반원으로 귀엽게젖어있었고
나는기분이그지같았다
"I took the little radio from the kitchen and I went and sat in the spare room and I turned it halfway between two stations so that all I could hear was white noise and I turned the volume up really loud and I held it against my ear and the sound filled my head and it hurt so that I couldn't feel any other sort of hurt, like the hurt in my chest"
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