Saturday, August 7
shake it up
what is it that i want
the missing question mark is deliberate, because this is not a question.
it's not the tranquility-
not the clean air,
not the striking sunsets,not the friendly neighbors,
and in fact I'd be so fucking depressed to live in a peaceful place with loving people and pretty flowers.
I'd hate myself if I had to wake up everyday to a warm, generous world.
I'd hate myself.
I want to live a hectic life.
full of risks, full of setbacks, failures,
and when I lie down on my bed at the end of the day, I will smile in satisfaction
because the day has been an utter catastrophe, nothing but a gorgeous breakdown one after another,
and yet -
I'm still here.
I will not hesitate to make my life a battleground
knowing that I can and will win every battle.
This is my dream.
This is my idea of success.
and I swear to god, I will be triumphant.